the seCond month of the year.

Since February jipped me two days, I'm saying I am still on track with my goal. Bam.
A quick "catch-up" on the new and exciting.

Exciting # 1: A real, salary with benefits, adult job.

Steven with a 'v' being the incredible person that he is, was offered a full time job here in the lovely Cedar City.
 So now, instead of looking for PT schools and dreading the debt that comes with them, Steve is enjoying working full time. And he truly is enjoying the job which is so so great!
This job came at the PERFECT time. Those of you who have ever been pregnant know just how expensive it is to bring a human into this world. One day we were wondering how we were going to make ends meet and the next day we were thanking our Heavenly Father for this wonderful job!
Truth: God answers prayers.

Exciting(but also a PAIN) #2: Home hunting.

So now that we know we are staying in Cedar permanently, and the price of houses is ridiculously cheap, we have been looking to buy. We are both done with throwing our money away towards rent. 
It has been fun to drive around with Steve and find houses for sale, but it's also really annoying when you don't find what you're looking for. 
We're hopeful that things will turn around soon though and we will be able to move into our own little home. 

To be completely honest. I have been very hesitant about this house buying thing, and at first the "adult" job thing. I feel like life is moving so fast and all of these life changing decisions are being made all at the same time rather than throughout the years like I imagined. 
I mean, a baby? That's a big decision in and of itself that should account for at least five years, right? 
However, I've realized that although there are a lot of decisions that have come about and life changing moments, we are so incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to make these decisions.

Also.
A picture.
24 weeks.
or
6 months.

there's a baby in there

So I have this goal.

Ever since the wonderful effects of pregnancy hit me, I have been HORRIBLE at documenting our journey through this life and it kills me thinking of everything we will and already have forgotten. 

That being said, I've come up with a plan that I intend to stick with. 

I'm sure no one will care, but I feel like if I put it on here, I will guilt myself into actually doing it.

GOAL: Document at least one adventure/memory/happening/blah blah, each month, for the entire year of 2013. 

It has been said. 

Moving on.

 

 For this month I am catching up on the most exciting thing in our life right now, baby! No, we don't have a name yet, I know that's lame, but I honestly had no idea how hard picking out a name for a human being would be. So... for now, he's just baby.

Happenings at 12 weeks: 

-Sickness. All food was the enemy. 

-Morning sickness? Sometimes, but nights were the killer.

-Stress. LOTS of it. "I hope baby is okay in there, do you think it's okay, hun? I really hope the heart is beating." on and on and on and on.

Happenings at 15 weeks:

-Hopeful that sickness will start decreasing. Disappointed.

-We finally told people about little baby at 13-14 weeks so it was fun finally being able to talk about it with everyone.

Happenings at 18 weeks:

-We finally found out what little "it" was. 

-Steve thought girl. I thought boy. Of course I'm always right, he's a BOY!

 -In this week I also thought I felt him kick for the first time, but it was so hard to tell.

-The nasty flu/cold/death trap got me and I was not a happy lady for a few weeks. Luckily my doctor felt bad for me and gave me medicine. 

Happenings at 20 weeks:

-Baby boy is DEFINITELY kicking and moving enough for momma to feel now. 

-Celebratory dance for making it half-way.

-FINALLY got my sweet tooth back and am taking full advantage of all the candy I see.

Compared to many women, I like to think I've had a pretty easy pregnancy so far. Granted, I still have 19 weeks left, (I'm really 21 weeks today, but of course I've procrastinated this post into the last days of January) but I'm very grateful for the way things have gone. I've been pampered every single day by that lover of mine, and I am so eternally grateful. 

 We're pretty excited to meet this little man, but I think I'm okay waiting until June. 

He's a whole lot easier to baby-sit this way.

 

a sTory

So I have this story.



It's the story of how no-name Warby came to be.

It was a Sunday and I was in relief society.We were learning about having faith instead of fear in our lives, which is a pretty common lesson, important, but also common. However, as soon as the teacher wrote faith vs. fear on the board, I immediately had the strongest impression that I was supposed to stop taking birth control.

uuuhhh....WHAAAt?

Where in the heck did that come from? 

As I started to grasp that thought, I started to cry... in relief society... at the beginning of the lesson! I'm sure those around me thought I was hormonally insane, but I could not stop.

If I stopped taking birth control, this meant I could get pregnant, and this meant kids..

I kept thinking, "No no no no no, I'm not ready for kids, I'm too little, I haven't had enough time with just Steve and I, we need more time... more time!" Then I cried some more because the reality of what I felt was very undeniable and I kept thinking..."Oh no.. God knows I have received His message...I can't just pretend like I didn't...... oh no!...."

I know I sound pretty selfish at this point, but honestly, I was scared to death and at this moment in time, this answer was NOT what I wanted.

When we got home from church, I told Steve the feeling I had and immediately started to cry again. (I promise I don't normally cry this much, the spirit just does things to you, ya know?) After lots of hugging and a mascara stained shirt, we both decided that if this was what I thought our Heavenly Father wanted us to do, then we would do it. Our motto became: "We are not trying to get pregnant, we just aren't preventing it anymore." God will decide.

After a few days, I wasn't worried anymore. I didn't think I was ready for a child and God had to know that. He wouldn't give me something I wasn't ready for! Yeah! He was just testing my obedience, I was sure of it......

Then, two weeks later, two little lines showed up on a stick and everything changed.

I was shocked, and scared, and surprised, and happy. I didn't know it until that moment, but this baby wasn't something I wasn't ready for, it was everything I needed and wanted so badly. I was excited! 

Since Steve was at work at the time, I made this card and set it on the bed for him to see when he got home.

When he saw it he chuckled and smiled and then took me in his arms for a huge hug. 
That's something I have been extremely grateful for.. a husband who has supported me through all of it. Not many guys would just say: "Oh, time to get off birth control? So suddenly without any plan or conversation before now?.. Okay!" But my Steven did.. and he was just as excited about the news of this baby. He's THE coolest..

This whole experience has taught me something very important. 

We go along every day thinking we have life figured out and we know what is best for us. We think we know what we can and can't do and we often settle for things because we think it's all we can handle at the time. I admit, most of the time we are right and that is part of our agency and judgement. 

But too often we forget about the One who knows us better than we know ourselves. The One who sees things we can't see and knows exactly what we need in every moment even though we think otherwise. 

My Heavenly Father knows me. He knows I'm stubborn, He knows I stress about everything, and He knew what I was ready for when I was the one who thought otherwise.

I'm so grateful to Him for trusting me with this little soul. I feel so very blessed to be able to be pregnant and carry this child. It's something so precious that should never be taken for granted.

And even though I'm a little scared and I doubt my abilities daily, I hold on to the knowledge that my Heavenly Father does know me and He knows the great things I can do. 
So with His help, Steve and I welcome this turnip sized miracle into our lives with so much freaking excitement it's ridiculous!

mini hUman

Today, most every blogger is writing about all of their biggest accomplishments or the greatest things that have happened to them in the year 2012, and it got me thinking about my 2012 year. And the only thing I can think about is this tiny little person growing inside my belly. That's it. Just this little baby "it". So there you go, our "greatest thing" for the year 2012 is being blessed to receive one of God's children.

 

Not too bad if you ask me.

 

 

 

my grandma's front pOrch



I am who I am because of you.

I'll remember this day forever.

normal is not mY normal

It's okay to be different.

It's okay to like out of the norm things.

It's okay to be your own.

I think one of the greatest discoveries one can make is realizing their own opinions and joys, and through that realization, knowing that those opinions and joys are perfect, regardless of what every individual is forcing into their mind..

For the longest time I had this mindset that a wife was supposed to be a certain way. She had to decorate her house with nice things that were adult like. She had to cook every meal and do the laundry faithfully. She must iron the clothes, especially the husband's church shirts. She must dress like an adult and shop at Christopher & Banks, and she MUST have a 'normal' haircut with a 'normal' color. She must grow older and as she grows older, she must take on the form of every other older lady. 

While a lot of these things are great and a necessity of living, it took me a long time to figure out that it's okay to do them in my own way.

I don't like adult-like houses with perfect decorations. I like messy and creative and colorful.

I forget to cook and I constantly forget about the laundry until there are no clothes left.

Why would I iron when I have a dryer that works just great?

And 'normal' hair color? Yeah right.

I don't want my life and my future families life to form to the norm of society. 

I want my little ones to have ideas and opinions.

I want them to know they can express those creative opinions and make their own life into something wonderful, something that isn't what everyone says to be right, but something that is their own.

I hope that their little minds won't be stuck inside the lines.

I think that everyone's uniqueness is what makes this world so wonderful.

It took me a while to realize that my different opinions are what make me awesome. 

No, I won't be the socially accepted 'normal' wife that many people expect me to be, and I probably won't be the 'normal' mother either. But I will do things in my own way and make my own kind or normal which will be wonderful.

And in my opinion, that is perfectly okay.

thanKs, love

dear Better Half,

Thank you for taking care of me while my face looked like a blow fish on account of the dentist removing all my wisdom.

Thank you for taking time off of work so you could drive me home since I was too drugged to decipher the difference between my tongue and the gauze inside my mouth.

Thank you for picking up my medication and buying all the jell-o, pudding, and soup I could ask for.

  also,Thanks for remembering that I like vanilla pudding more than chocolate. That just would have been an unneeded attack of emotions. 

Thank you for changing my disgusting gauze every twenty minutes and even checking the clock to make sure it had actually been twenty minutes. 

Thank you for running to your parents house to get ice (more than once) and making sure I had some on my face at all times. 

Thanks for telling me I looked beautiful and NOT swollen, even though I was.

Thanks for preparing all of my meals for me and wiping the tomato soup off of my chin because I was too numb to feel its presence. I know you'll take care of me when I'm old and senile and can't remember how to feed myself.

Thank you for letting me sleep all day and waiting patiently by my side to make sure I was alright. I'm sorry I fell asleep in every single movie we watched and you had to practically watch alone. I know those weren't the funnest days for you, but thanks for staying by my side.

Thank you for calling me when you went back to work just to make sure I was taking my medicine and felt alright. Some days I wonder how I even survived this life without you. 

Thank you for never once complaining about all of the money we have been forced to spend on my ridiculous teeth lately and for calming me down when I start to freak out about it myself

And most importantly, thank you for giving me that Priesthood blessing last night. 

You said everything I needed to hear.. 

Thank you for being worthy of that, and for portraying every good quality of a man of God.

You are my everything Steven Jon Warby.

I'm so glad you picked me.

I love you.

love, your sweetheart